Journal
The heart of the work
On a recent visit to my old Oxford college, I came across a Victorian memorial tablet describing the deceased as "of wise counsel, high honour and warm heart". It struck me as an epitaph worth aspiring to, and it set me thinking about wisdom itself, a quality we value highly but rarely pause to examine.
Last week a high-achieving client in the independent education sector said of me, among other pleasing things, that: "Richard… is a remarkably wise and careful listener." A while ago an Executive MBA student said to me in their final Leadership Coaching session: "Richard, I just want your wisdom".
Wisdom is at the heart of my self-awareness coaching: helping people see themselves, and their circumstances, more clearly. It is drawn less from cleverness than from fifty years' experience across many countries and cultures, a deep curiosity about people, and the wish to be of use. It is wisdom, more than anything else, that I try to bring to the people I work with as they begin to re-assess their ambitions and achievements.
A year or two ago I posted on LinkedIn a series of brief notes giving historical background to some commonly used words, to point out the richness of their history and offer some thoughts for reflection.
The ancient origin of the word is the sound *weid-, which meant "see". Then, over the millennia, the meaning "see" came to mean "know", which came to mean "understand" and finally "…the power of discerning and judging rightly" (Oxford English Dictionary).
Perhaps the wise are simply able to help others see more clearly what is already in front of them.
If this resonates and you would welcome a conversation, you can reach me at richard@hilliardcoaching.com.
Words to think about
I sometimes share with my clients the origins of commonly used words, words likely to arise in a coaching session, when I feel they bring something of value to the thinking.
trust & truth · from *deru-, "strong, steadfast"
Trust and truth are the bedrock of civilised behaviour, and now under threat more than ever. The two words share an ancient root, "deru-", meaning "strong" or "steadfast", and where trust is missing, its place is filled by anxiety. A reflection on trust, truth and psychological safety.
kindness · from *gen-, "to give birth"
Much has been written, and many exercises carried out, to help us discover, assess and enhance our personal levels of kindness.
anxiety · from angere, "to choke or strangle"
Every generation rediscovers the state of mind and body we call anxiety, and offers its own way of dealing with it.
humility · from humus, "earth, ground"
Humility is not a virtue that past generations would naturally have associated with leadership, but a recent Harvard Business Review post included it among the qualities that help shape an "inclusive" leader.
values · from *wal-, "to be strong"
This word is much used by businesses to declare their core qualities: honesty, integrity, loyalty, flexibility and fairness are among the most popular.
persona · "the painted mask worn by actors"
I'm sometimes asked what the difference is between "personality" and "character".
ambition · from ambi- + itio, "a going around"
When we are powered by ambition, we imagine ourselves like an arrow flying towards a target: many things can go wrong, but the intended journey is straight, and in one direction only.
Also by Richard
Away from coaching, I gather pieces that have moved, amused and interested me. Plenty of Grapes is the result, my personal anthology of literary odds and ends spanning nearly three thousand years, and its companion volume, A Few More Grapes, continues the collection.
